Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in it_landry's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, December 8th, 2009
6:25 pm	OCC Compass test, I think it's broken Jim. I took my Oakland Community College placement test today to see what english and math classes I should sign up for, and while I speak engrish very very gooder, I got placed in the highest english class they have to offer... Who knew? Also, I got an intermediate Math class. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 17th, 2009
4:58 am	Posting in Exhaustion Caused Stupor... probably a bad idea... Just a song, one of the few that seem to fit my life lately... Let Me Be Myself by Three Doors Down... I guess i just got lost being someone else, I tried to kill the pain But nothing ever helped I left myself behind Somewhere along the way Hoping to come back around and find myself some day Lately I'm so tired of waiting for you To say that it's OK, tell me please Would you one time, Let Me Be Myself So i can shine, with my own light Let Me Be Myself Would you Let Me Be Myself Coz I'll never find my heart Behind someone else I'll never see the light of day Living in this cell It's time to make my way Into the world i knew And take back all of these times That I gave in to you Lately I'm so tired of waiting for you To say that it's OK, tell me please Would you one time, Let Me Be Myself So i can shine, with my own light Let Me Be Myself, For a while If you don't mind, Let Me Be Myself So i can shine, with my own light Let Me Be Myself That's all i ever wanted from this world Was to let me be me.. Please, would you one time, Let Me Be Myself So i can shine, with my own light Let Me Be Myself Please, would you one time, Let Me Be Myself So i can shine, with my own light Let Me Be Myself, For a while If you don't mind, Let Me Be Myself So i can shine, with my own light Let Me Be Myself (Comment on this)
Friday, November 13th, 2009
9:00 pm	Out of nowhere... she returns... First, let me just say, I really couldn't find lyrics to go with this post... I couldn't figure out what would be a good song to go with the mix of thoughts of this post... ( She's... back... ) Current Mood: thoughtful Current Music: Shuffle mode, FuhTuhWuh. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 20th, 2009
9:59 am	Worst. Dream. Possible. Ever. Stupid me, had to have a stupid dream like that... involving her... I woke up in a cold sweat, shouting Why once.  I was in our bed, not mine, ours.  She rolled over next to me, asking what was the matter.  i smiled seeing her, and proccedded to tell her about the dream, about saturday and up to tonight.  She frowned at me when i finished with a sigh, then told me that all those years ago, she actually was thinking about it.  That she was going to call saturday, but decided to think about it one more day, and that when she thought about it, she remembered everything we had done, realizing everything i would do to make her happy, and she just coudln't figure out why she wanted to leave me in the first place.  She kissed me deeply and said she was happy with how our lives turned out, and we went back to sleep in each others arms.  Then I woke up. I know what caused that dream, I still have a connection to it, and it's using that to constantly pull at me... no matter where in the house i am, i feel it still.  I'm going to give it to a friend of mine who insisted that I shouldn't just get rid of it, going to do that today.  Hopefully the distance will help me get over the whole thing, cause i keep feeling the need to look at it again...  I'm sure not feeling it around me will make this ten hundred times easier. (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 18th, 2009
9:21 am	How blue can I get? First the lyrics... like always... but what song to post now... i pick songs that reflect my mood... maybe this one, despite it's clieched... with out further ado, The Tony Rich Project with Nobody Knows it but Me... talking... Wish I told her how I feel, Maybe she'd be here right now but instead... singing... I pretend that I'm glad you went away These four walls closing more every day And I'm dying inside And nobody knows it but me Like a clown I put on a show The pain is real even if nobody knows And I'm crying inside And nobody knows it but me Why didn't I say the things I needed to say How could I let my angel get away Now my world is just a-tumblin' down I can say it so clearly but you're nowhere around The nights are so lonely the days are so sad and I just keep thinking about the love that we had And I'm missing you And nobody knows it but me I carry smile when I'm broken in two And I'm nobody without someone like you I'm trembling inside And nobody knows it but me (yeah) Lie awake, it's a quarter past three I'm screaming at night if I thought you'd hear me Yeah, my heart is calling you And nobody knows it but me (well, well) How blue can I get? You could ask my heart But like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn all apart Billion words couldn't say just how I feel A million years from now you know I'll be loving you still The nights are so lonely the days are so sad and I just keep thinking about the love that we had And I'm missing you And nobody knows it but me oooo oohhhhh yeah Tomorrow morning, I'm a hit a dusty road Gonna find you, where ever, ever you might go And I'm gonna load my heart and hope you come back to me (Say whent the nights are lonely) (3x with adlib until fade) The nights are so lonely the days are so sad and I just keep thinking about the love that we had And I'm missing you And nobody knows it but me .. So yesterday marks the worst i've felt since ever... jobless with only a thousand dollars to my name in savings bonds that aren't mature yet, no one responding positively to my applications and SSI the only thing that qualifies me for it doesn't actually impede my work ability so i might not get that... and now heart broken... everything i was trying to do was for my love who no longer wants me.  monetary obsession is a big problem, we both agreed, but the fact that i would need the money to get my car working again, to get gas in my car so we could be together more often... so i could give her free rides to work so we could at least see each other again doing that when all her plans of free time involved her friends or family for the week... I was afraid that i was losing her for months, and i was driving myself crazy over it... now i've lost her and she refuses to even give me another chance, she refused to talk to me about our problems when they first started, and when she did, she would get mad cause i was having a little trouble understanding.  when I tried to talk to her about my fears, she got more mad or annoyed then worried that i had these concerns... She left me for the friend that i was worried she would do so for a little while... god I hate being right... though i have to wonder if i deserve better then her, then how does he deserve her... and what he offered her that i couldn't... I love her with all my heart, everything i've been trying to do i've been trying to do for her, and she thinks she was holding me back... that she felt i felt i might not have to try now... she never told me she felt like that till the phone call... even though one of the first three promises we made was that we would talk about our problems when they arose (in my defense i was trying to word it so i didn't make her want to leave right then and there thinking i was being too controling)... the other being that we wouldn't end it over phone or IM... i guess no promises are worth keeping anymore, when i asked about seeing her to discuse this she told me she works all week, and that seeing us with friends would be a bad idea...  the third promise *sigh*, well that doesn't matter anymore, does it... the common expresion is 'when it rains it pours', salt add and description of life... well i wish it would just pour for me... seems for me, when it rains... it floods.  and for the crappy joke, could someone throw me a life preserver.... then again... if you can't spare one, i don't mind, really, it's cool. also, to any of my friends who might actually read this, don't show this crap to who i'm talking about, i know she's already moving on, no need to make her suffer, might as well let one of us be happy about this.  I mean it guys, just let it go... ps, sorry if it sounds kinda emo, and that it was such a long post, but didn't feel like wasting time doing more then just copy and pasting... yay word pad. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 14th, 2009
1:14 pm	sorry gang, nothing to point and laugh at this time... just lyrics..... as the title says, just lyrics today... not sure why, but this songs chourus just stands out to me. I wonder how many people will remember what causes me to pick songs after they read these... So with out further ado, Honesty by Billy Joel... If you search for tenderness it isn't hard to find. You can have the love you need to live. But if you look for truthfulness You might just as well be blind. It always seems to be so hard to give. Honesty is such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue. Honesty is hardly ever heard. And mostly what I need from you. I can always find someone to say they sympathize. If I wear my heart out on my sleeve. But I don't want some pretty face to tell me pretty lies. All I want is someone to believe. Honesty is such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue. Honesty is hardly ever heard. And mostly what I need from you. I can find a lover. I can find a friend. I can have security until the bitter end. Anyone can comfort me with promises again. I know, I know. When I'm deep inside of me don't be too concerned. I won't as for nothin' while I'm gone. But when I want sincerity tell me where else can I turn. Because you're the one I depend upon. Honesty is such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue. Honesty is hardly ever heard. And mostly what I need from you. (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 6th, 2009
1:36 pm	Seems like I should be getting somewhere, somehow I'm neither here nor there. ( Seems like I should be getting somewhere, somehow I'm neither here nor there. ) Current Mood: distressed Current Music: Runaway Train - Soul Asylum (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 21st, 2009
2:28 pm	Dummy serve your own needs. R.E.M. - It's the End of The World as we Know It. That's great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane Lenny Burnside is not afraid. Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn world serves its own needs, don't misserve your own needs. Feed it up a knock, speed, grunt no, strength no. Ladder structure clatter with fear of height, down height. Wire in a fire, represent the seven games in a government for hire and a combat site. Left her, wasn't coming in a hurry with the furies breathing down your neck. Team by team reporters baffled, trump, tethered crop. Look at that low plane! Fine then. Uh oh, overflow, population, common group, but it'll do. Save yourself, serve yourself. World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed. Tell me with the rapture and the reverent in the right - right. You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, bright light, feeling pretty psyched. It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine. Six o'clock - TV hour. Don't get caught in foreign tower. Slash and burn, return, listen to yourself churn. Lock him in uniform and book burning, blood letting. Every motive escalate. Automotive incinerate. Light a candle, light a motive. Step down, step down. Watch a heel crush, crush. Uh oh, this means no fear - cavalier. Renegade and steer clear! A tournament, a tournament, a tournament of lies. Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives and I decline. It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine. The other night I tripped a nice continental drift divide. Mount St. Edelite. Leonard Bernstein. Leonid Breshnev, Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs. Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly bean, boom! You symbiotic, patriotic, slam, but neck, right? Right. It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine...fine... ( Dummy, Serve your own needs. Only open if you want to read a big post about nothing important at all. ) Current Mood: bored (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 11th, 2008
10:57 am	Wizards rule... No song for with it just yet... but I just felt like posting this with pride. Take the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz. (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 9th, 2008
2:36 pm	TRICK or TREAT... somewhat early... This Is Halloween by Danny Elfman Boys and girls of every age Wouldn't you like to see something strange? Come with us and you will see This, our town of Halloween This is Halloween, this is Halloween Pumpkins scream in the dead of night This is Halloween, everybody make a scene Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright It's our town, everybody scream In this town of Halloween I am the one hiding under your bed Teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red I am the one hiding under your stairs Fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair This is Halloween, this is Halloween Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! In this town we call home Everyone hail to the pumpkin song In this town, don't we love it now? Everybody's waiting for the next surprise Round that corner, man hiding in the trash can Something's waiting now to pounce, and how you'll... Scream! This is Halloween Red 'n' black, slimy green Aren't you scared? Well, that's just fine Say it once, say it twice Take a chance and roll the dice Ride with the moon in the dead of night Everybody scream, everybody scream In our town of Halloween! I am the clown with the tear-away face Here in a flash and gone without a trace I am the "who" when you call, "Who's there?" I am the wind blowing through your hair I am the shadow on the moon at night Filling your dreams to the brim with fright This is Halloween, this is Halloween Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Tender lumplings everywhere Life's no fun without a good scare That's our job, but we're not mean In our town of Halloween In this town Don't we love it now? Everyone's waiting for the next surprise Skeleton Jack might catch you in the back And scream like a banshee Make you jump out of your skin This is Halloween, everybody scream Wont' ya please make way for a very special guy Our man jack is King of the Pumpkin patch Everyone hail to the Pumpkin King now This is Halloween, this is Halloween Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! In this town we call home Everyone hail to the pumpkin song La la-la la [Repeat] WOO!! My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul it_landry goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Norville 'Shaggy' Rogers. dynamite220 gives you 5 light orange banana-flavoured nuggets. edensnightshade gives you 19 tan chocolate-flavoured gumdrops. glowingsword gives you 17 tan cola-flavoured pieces of taffy. jalathas tricks you! You get a scratched CD. lilymage gives you 5 light yellow coconut-flavoured pieces of chewing gum. mammothtank tricks you! You lose 1 pieces of candy! megguqt gives you 5 dark blue apple-flavoured pieces of chewing gum. mr_smigs tricks you! You lose 13 pieces of candy! swift2568 tricks you! You get a scratched CD. zyanya2008 tricks you! You get a used tissue. it_landry ends up with 37 pieces of candy, a scratched CD, a scratched CD, and a used tissue. Go trick-or-treating! Username: Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, September 13th, 2008
12:43 pm	Shalom my loyal reader(s).... it's been a while i know, but i haven't felt like posting anything... still don't, but i know you have been waiting for something more to point and laugh about.  so today there is only the lyrics, and the thought i leave for you to point and laugh at is that today, i post the lyrics that just seem to make me think for somereason, think about stuff i don't want to think about and probably shouldn't either.  anywho, i've rambled too much... the song today is Hanging By A Moment by the band Lifehouse Hanging By A Moment by Lifehouse Desperate for changing Starving for truth I'm closer to where i started I'm chasing after you I'm falling even more in love with you Letting go of all i've held on to I'm standing here until you make me move I'm hanging by a moment here with you Forgetting all i'm lacking Completely incomplete I'll take your invitation You take all of me now I'm falling even more in love with you Letting go of all i've held on to I'm standing here until you make me move I'm hanging by a moment here with you I'm living for the only thing i know I'm running and not quite sure where to go And i don't know what i'm tapping into Just hanging by a moment here with you There's nothing else to lose There's nothing else to find There's nothing in the world That can change my mind There is nothing else There is nothing else There is nothing else Desperate for changing Starving for truth I'm closer to where i started I'm chasing after you I'm falling even more in love with you Letting go of all i've held on to I'm standing here until you make me move I'm hanging by a moment here with you I'm living for the only thing i know I'm running and not quite sure where to go And i don't know what i'm diving into Just hanging by a moment here with you Just hanging by a moment Hanging by a moment Hanging by a moment Hanging by a moment here with you Current Mood: blank Current Music: i think my current song title is obvious... (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 21st, 2008
7:51 pm	I can feel each moment as time goes by... so, i have been listening to my RPG cd lately, and so the song lyrics for this post will be from Legend of Dragoon, a great RPG that for now i can not finish for reasons i will not discuss on here... i gotta remember who said they would let me borrow it... any who, first, the lyrics.  From The Legend of Dragoon, 'If You Still Believe' written by Dennis Martin with vocals by Elsa Raven. I had a dream that I could fly I can feel each moment as time goes by We'd never be too far away, You would always be here, I heard you say   I never thought Thought that it would be our last goodbye (our last goodbye.) I still can dream That one day love will fall out from the sky   Do you still remember all the time that has gone by? (do you believe?) Do you still believe that love can fall out from the sky? If from where you're standing, you can see the sky above I'll be waiting for you, if you still believe in love (do you still believe?)   Find a way to bring back yesterday Find a way to love I hope we stay When tomorrow becomes today Love will find a way   I'll be waiting for you, in my heart you are the one If I cannot find you, I will look up to the sun (do you believe, do you believe?) If from where you're standing, you can see the sky above I'll be waiting for you, if you still believe in love   Do you believe? Do you believe?   Do you still remember all the time that has gone by? Do you still believe that love can fall out from the sky? If from where you're standing, you can see the sky above (do you believe?) I'll be waiting for you, if you still believe in love   Do you believe?   and in case your wondering, i don't think it was written by Guy, but who knows. so now i would like to say that i really probably shouldn't listen to this song, even thou i really do enjoy it.  i shouldn't listen to this song cause it reminds me of a couple of beautiful women... i won't share who they are, they probably don't even know i exsist after all. so with that out of the way, i can post the random crap i post normally.   yes thats right loyal reader(s), i will post random thoughts still.   on the financial side of life, my bank account is slowly going dry yet again.  i still lack transportation that is required to get a job past where i can walk.  and i still lack the transportation required to get the job at where i can walk to, damn delivery jobs... --- on a plus side, i have found a couple of vehicles i would like to get if i can get the money together for one of them. --- and another plus, my brain has been generating blueprints for possible store buildings, mostly for things like taverns or gaming shops, even a couple possible designs to try opening a place like the 'Rec Room' from mine and a few of my friends youths. my brain has been trying to kill me i think, cause lately i have had to keep a mini bottle of tylenol or how ever it's speeled on me at all times because i keep getting splitting headaches just under the level of migrane.  i plan to blame the weather, but if this persists, i may have to actually go to the doctors and find out whats going on.  yay losing moneis to make sure i'm healthy. fingers crossed that i don't have to though. espically since i didn't have one all day today. i have yet to find someone for a relationship, and while my friend mammothtank can say he doesn't care anymore, i dont' have the type of situation he does, and my mind can't help but think about that type of topic lately... if anyone has a way to cure me of that, let me know, i'm all ears. i finally made it through the archives for 'Something Positive', 'Something Positive - 1937', 'Super Stupor', and 'Ryhmes With Witch'.  now i am working through 'Midnight Macabre', then i will just have to check them for updates every now and then. thats about all for my life right now... maybe more when i update next.  as always loyal reader(s), comments are appreciated, even if you just want to let me know your pointing and laughing at me. (14 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 16th, 2008
3:49 pm	Heheh... maybe i should stop reading 'Something Positive'... cause i'm seeing to much insight on life from the author... like in this episode or issue, what ever you want to call it. the first part of insight i saw is in the page itself, but then there is the tag at the the end of the comic underneath the contact and copyright info. while the tag i'm quoting is in the link i'm leaving for you too read, i want to quote it, cause it hits home on what type of shit my life has thrown at me in the past year... and forgive me, but my eyesite is a little weak right nwo i think, cause i can't make out who he is quoting too well... "Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing." http://www. somethingpositive. net/sp12092005. shtml (Comment on this)
1:51 pm	Sorry, No lyrics today, just boredom... HowManyOfMe.com There are 170 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name? (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 8th, 2008
5:13 pm	So I found my theme song... The Logical Song by Supertramp... When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful, a miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical. And all the birds in the trees, well they'd be singing so happily, joyfully, playfully watching me. But then they send me away to teach me how to be sensible, logical, responsible, practical. And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable, clinical, intellectual, cynical. There are times when all the world's asleep, the questions run too deep for such a simple man. Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned I know it sounds absurd but please tell me who I am. Now watch what you say or they'll be calling you a radical, liberal, fanatical, criminal. Won't you sign up your name, we'd like to feel you're acceptable, respecable, presentable, a vegtable! At night, when all the world's asleep, the questions run so deep for such a simple man. Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned I know it sounds absurd but please tell me who I am.  tell me what you think, should this be my theme song from now on? (Comment on this)
Monday, April 7th, 2008
8:27 am	FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK so yeah, i have had a terrible weekend, i have hurt one friend inadvertantly, and have alienhated two others... why do i suck at apologizing?  all honesty it could have been avoided by just walking away from the converstation earlier... pheebs, i am sorry, but i was getting frustrated... you don't know what i have had to see because of this gorram eye, watching people hold a conversation with you while looking at their shoes after looking at your face, then noticing them look up at you out of the corner of your eye after the bad eye is out of their field of sight... i've had to deal with it for about 16 years... and at least with the facial hair being the key point, they would look me in the face.  and i dont' fear rejection, i am actually expecting, i think it's gotten to be a very close friend of mine.  as for the low self-esteem, most of those 16 years, most of the words of encouragement i got for doing something was 'thats nice, but why didn't you do this to?' pheebs, i tried to explain all this to you, but you wouldn't listen... i really am sorry, and i hope you can forgive me, but i wish you would have listened to me when i tried to explain this calmly... and any loay reader(s) who actually know pheebs, i'll let you decide if she should see this or not, i just know she doesn't want to talk to me at the moment... (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 6th, 2008
9:56 pm	Remember what your staring at is me... Through Glass by Stone Sour I'm looking at you through the glass... Don't know how much time has passed Oh god it feels like forever But no one ever tells you that forever Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head How do you feel? That is the question But i forget.. you dont expect and easy answer When something like a soul becomes Initialized and folded up like paper dolls and little notes You cant expect to bitter folks And while your outside looking in Describing what you see Remember what your staring at is me Cause I'm looking at you through the glass... Don't know how much time has passed All i know is that it feels like forever When no one ever tells you that forever Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head How much is real? So much to question And never dare make up the mannequins Contaminating everything When thought came from the heart It never did right from the start Just listen to the noises (No more sad voices) Before you tell yourself Its just a different scene Remember its just different from what you've seen Im looking at you through the glass... Don't know how much time has passed And all i know is that it feels like forever When no one ever tells you that forever Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head And its the starrrssss The sttarrrsss That shine for you And its the starrrssss The sttarrrsss That lie to you.. yeah-ah I'm looking at you through the glass... Don't know how much time has passed Oh god it feels like forever But no one ever tells you that forever Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head Cause I'm looking at you through the glass... Don't know how much time has passed All i know is that it feels like forever But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home, sitting all alone inside your heaaaaddd And its the starrrssss The sttarrrsss That shine for you.. yeah-ah And its the starrrssss The sttarrrsss That lie to you.. yeah-ah And its the starrrssss The sttarrrsss That shine for you.. yeah-ah And its the starrrssss The sttarrrsss That lie to you.. yeah-ah yeah Ohhhoh the starrs Ohhh oh the starrrrs that liieee  first, i just want to say, while it seems i'm just trying to show some great music, i've really only posted lyrics to songs i feel share my mind set and emotions at the time of post... like now, a primary emotion from this song is puzzled and conflicted... or maybe thats just me. but okay, so here's the scoop about my double post... had to deliver some news... and while i have been told that it was the right thing to do, i just don't know... i had to tell a dear friend of mine that i was told by the other woman that her ex cheated on her while they were together.... and it hurt just seeing her cry... i really don't know if i did the right thing, and i probably never will know.  i really don't care if you leave comments, if ya do, i'll read them... if ya don't, then it will be like every other post i've ever made, ya know.  i'm exhausted, but i can't seem to get myself to go to sleep...  oh well... (Comment on this)
Friday, April 4th, 2008
6:23 pm	so yeah, sorry i left you alone with my ranting... had i known how much of a baby i would sound like, i wouldn't have posted them in the first place.  but yeah... before i update you with my life recently, i gotta do my tradition, i gotta post me a song's lyrics... so here by popular demand is Kryptonite by  Three Doors Down I took a walk around the world to Ease my troubled mind I left my body laying somewhere In the sands of time I watched the world float to the dark Side of the moon I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah I watched the world float to the Dark side of the moon After all I knew it had to be something To do with you I really don’t mind what happens now and then As long as you’ll be my friend at the end If I go crazy then will you still Call me Superman If I’m alive and well, will you be There holding my hand I’ll keep you by my side with My superhuman might Kryptonite You called me strong, you called me weak, But still your secrets I will keep You took for granted all the times I Never let you down You stumbled in and bumped your head, if Not for me then you would be dead I picked you up and put you back On solid ground If I go crazy then will you still Call me Superman If I’m alive and well, will you be There holding my hand I’ll keep you by my side with my Superhuman might Kryptonite If I go crazy then will you still Call me Superman If I’m alive and well, will you be There holding my hand I’ll keep you by my side with my Superhuman might Kryptonite Yeah! If I go crazy then will you still Call me Superman If I’m alive and well, will you be there Holding my hand I’ll keep you by my side with My superhuman might Kryptonite so yeah, just let me get the little craps out of the way, no great details, just the basics.  so i think i lost a friend.... not sure yet but i'll know soon probably.  figured out why i have a trouble getting a job, i'm a caucasion male thats a little out of shap with a bum eye trying to work in an economy that says 'Sex sales' as their motto.  well that and my only job experience is as a grip, which for you young boys and girls mean i know how to set up and run Audio and Video equipment, and i have other work experience in running sound equipment... ya know, the type you find at concerts and in television and radio.  but meh, i'll find work thou, i think the world is turning for the slightly better for once. one the fun side of life, i realised i am like an evil 'Hannibal Smith' from the A-Team... weither or not i will hold auditions for 3 members to represent 'Face', 'Murdock', and 'B.A.' i am not sure yet. thats all i really have to say, like i said Loyal Reader(s), much shorter then my last two. wait one moment, i forgot to recomend to all of you to read 'Waiting For Godot' by a one Samuel Beckett.  it is a great read and i finally know why it is a classic. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 19th, 2008
12:44 pm	Live And Learn... well... i had something i was gonna post when i logged on before the lyrics... i don't quite remember thou... either way, we need to get the lyrics out of the way.  this time i am posting the lyrics to the Theme song of Sonic Adventure 2: Battle. Live And Learn by the Sonic Team Can you feel life movin' through your mind, Ooh, looks like it came back for more! Yeah yeah yeah! Can you feel time slippin' down your spine, Ooooooh, You try and try to ignore! Yeah! But you can hardly swallow, Your fears and pain. When you can't help but follow, It puts you right back where you came. Live and learn! Hanging on the edge of tomorrow, Live and learn! From the works of yesterday. Live and learn! If you beg or if you borrow, Live and learn! You may never find your way. Whooooa, yeah! Can you feel life tangle you up inside? Yeah, now you're face down on the floor! Oh! But you can't save your sorrow, You've paid in trade! When you can't help but follow, It puts you right back where you came. Live and learn! Hanging on the edge of tomorrow, Live and learn! From the works of yesterday. Live and learn! If you beg or if you borrow, Live and learn! You may never find your way. Hey, whoa, whoa, Oh yeeeeeeeeeeeah! -INSTRUMENTAL- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! -INSTRUMENTAL- There's a face searching far, so far and wide. There's a place where you dream you'd never find. Hold on to what if? Hold on to what if? Live and learn! Hanging on the edge of tomorrow, Live and learn! From the works of yesterday. Live and learn! If you beg or if you borrow, Live and learn! You may never find your way. Live and learn! Hanging on the edge of tomorrow, Live and learn! From the works of yesterday. Live and learn! If you beg or if you borrow, Live and learn! You may never find your way. and now that that is out of the way, i think i remember what i wanted to say here loyal reader(s)... (not sure, but i think i am the only one who really reads this after i post it...) yesh, so i made a huge mistake, after the dame i was talking about in my lost post decided to confide in me again, i realized that after every amtgard that everyone goes to the coolest place we know to hang out, even thou she didn't choose me, she still ends up in my arms for a good part of the day, looking as comfortable as can be... what am i supposed to think of that, her choice is right in the same room, shouldn't they be in each others arms instead of she in mine and he for the most part ignoring her?  with the exception of when i had to stop her and beth from continuesly poking me, he practically ignored her untill it was almost time to leave... and that was when she was laughing, he walks up thinking i'm hurting her because of how i'm stuck holding her wrists while she tries to break free and asks in an attempt at a threating tone why i'm holding his girlfriend... her still laughing and smiling from the random goofing off we're doing mind you. and thats when i made the mistake... for some reason i just had to do something i stopped doing to people about 3 years back... i looked at her soul, the basic building blocks of her... and it brought up another reason why i was briefly interested in her for more then a friend at the time... i should never have done that thou.  a small part of me, the small part that doing that re-awakened in me thinks i should try to get her from the idiot, but my codes of honor are telling me personal happyness is not worth it if i lose my honor for it, and since she says she's happy with him... i think i have to agree with my honor here reader(s)... it's the right thing to do... right?  or wait, is it just a mind game trying to be played on me... i just don't know.  i don't really care right now either... On the lighter side of the tracks, basically everything else in my life... i still can't find a job, and the car i was actually able to drive for 2 days out of the week has died... so i can't even try to find part time for 2 days out of the week... oh well... like the title of the song i put up, live and learn, right?  only flaw is that it means no money to put in my bank acount that is only alive because i have about 15 bucks left in it... thanks fer listenin' to my random thoughts again... didn't plan to bring her up ever again, and i think you know why... sorry to bother you all, have a great day.  and as always, any thoughts you have are appreciated... and if you say it was too long, well then you will be happy to know i plan on my next few being shorter.... (by few i mean ten thousand) Current Mood: meh, who knows Current Music: a lot of random stuff, burning a new cd afterall... (Comment on this)
Monday, January 7th, 2008
2:42 pm	Desperado, why don't you come to your senses? well, for once in life, i have rant to the effect of my friends... so to Pyradon and Xerxies, this one is in honor of you two... but first, my tradition of a song first, so here, a song that hits my feelings right about now...      Desperado by The Eagles Desperado, why don't you come to your senses? You been out ridin' fences for so long now Oh, you're a hard one I know that you got your reasons These things that are pleasin' you Can hurt you somehow Don' you draw the queen of diamonds, boy She'll beat you if she's able You know the queen of heats is always your best bet Now it seems to me, some fine things Have been laid upon your table But you only want the ones that you can't get Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no youger Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some people talkin' Your prison is walking through this world all alone Don't your feet get cold in the winter time? The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine It's hard to tell the night time from the day You're loosin' all your highs and lows Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away? Desperado, why don't you come to your senses? Come down from your fences, open the gate It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you You better let somebody love you, before it's too late okay, now for the rant... and yes pyradon, i will use real capitals where they belong.... for once... So, apparently I am a good enough option for a female to have to chose between me or an ass-hole... I, like all you loyal readers, was shocked to learn this myself.  But fear not, for your world won't be shattered, I'm only good enough to be an option, not to get picked. Let's be honest here thou loyal readers, don't the ass-holes always get picked?  Is there something wrong with picking the good guy, the one who will do anything they can to make you the happiest you can be, the one who will treat you like you deserve to be treated?  I guess there is, cause that happened here.  Okay, for all those now who think your just whining because she didn't pick you, eventually she will realise what an ass he is and end it... well readers, if thats what you thought, go shoot yourself in the F***ing foot. (edited incase a young person reads this) Ya see, first and foremost, I wanted her to pick the 3rd option I pointed out to her more then picking me, I would have done my best to make her happy if she had picked me, but I tried to get her to say 'screw both of you' and wait for someone 20 times better then both of the options she saw on the table.  She knew he would make her miserable, even said that it wouldn't be to long till she was miserable in the relationship, but she chose him anyway.  Then she decided to look to me, if she could get me to be happy with the descion, then she could, cause apparently, it "hurt her to hurt me with this".  Obvioulsy not enough to really matter thou.  Thats where I lost respect for her, she needed me to validate her descion for her, so I got sick of the texting and called her.  The conversation ended with me calling her on it and telling her for the 8th time now that I just wanted her to be happy with her descion, and if I EVER see her sad with the choice she made, I would laugh at her to her face like an ass because she deserved it, then I would punch the idiot she chose, cause it's fun and he would deserve it. Ya know the kicker here is, turns out she liked me back when I was with Emi... funny huh... well here's the fun part of that, there was a nice gap between her and I both being single and her meeting Cody, so yeah... Now I know my rant sounds all sad because of one little lady, but ya know, it's not.  My rant is because thats how it seems to always be for me, I'm either like a brother or cousin (and if you make a 'in the sounth' joke now, i wil find you and end you when you sleep)... or I am just appealing enough to be the guy they are with so they aren't alone while waiting for mister perfect... I mean come on, is it my eye, does my left eye creep you out or something.  Is it my mug, does my face look like I might try to kill you or something?  Or is it my personality, does it scare you, does it make you think I drink and might be abusive.  If it's my physical features, if your that shallow, why should I want to be with you then?  If it's my personality, then your screwed, cause I refuse to change who I am to suite your needs, and I'm sorry that a guy wanting to you make you happy is a concept you don't understand. I guess lately it's like the latest issue of 'Megatokyo' says, "Only characters can be loved for being who they really are." What can us nice guys do that will give us an edge up and catch your attention, what can we do ladies?  Cause while your with the ass-hole of a boyfriend, that nice guy you cry to... you know the one, he listens to you intently, he looks into your eyes when he talks to you... well guess what, he probably wants to be with you, and its not that he can't do anything about it cause you can't see him as a more than just a shoulder to cry on that hurts him.  It's the fact that he has to watch you suffer every time, thats what hurts him the most. so yeah, sorry for me using yoru shoulder as if you were a bar keep... your comments are always appreciated, and if ya feel like giving someone something to laugh at, or think i make a good point worth sharing, feel free... i don't care, never really did. *starts singing Desperado again as i walk away*  "Desperado, why can't you come to your senses" Current Mood: WHAT DO YOU THINK?!?!?!?!?!? Current Music: Desperado by The Eagles and Axel F by Harold Faltermyer (2 Comments |Comment on this)